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- When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say.
- I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.
- The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
- The less you care, the less you’ll worry, and the happier you’ll be.
- Nothing is over until you stop trying.
- The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
- I’m not SHORT, I am just concentrated AWESOME
- I drink to make other people interesting.
- My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
- Beauty is in the eye of the credit card holder.
- An apple in a day keeps anyone away, If you through it hard.
- Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
- That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.
- My dream is to fly..over a rainbow..so high.
- If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.
- Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
- If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at least make one of them pretty!
- Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
- Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
- I wish I had google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.
- Sitting in class wondering how the hell the teacher got the job.
- Stay strong, make them wonder how you’re still smiling.
- One person’s LOL is another’s WTF!
- It’s funny how all trust goes away when you can’t find the remote. ”Are you sitting on the remote?” No. ”Stand up”.
- The secret of life is not to do what you like, but to like what you do.
- Don’t rush anything. When the time is right, it’ll happen.
- The best way to appreciate something is to be without it for a while.
- Go where you are appreciated, not where you are tolerated.
- Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
- Never get on one knee for a girl who won’t get on two for you.
- Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.
- Tomorrow is the best time to do everything you had planned today
- Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun, fall in love, and regret nothing.
- I am probably single….because i didnt forward those chain messages in 2008.
- In “Success” all depends on the second letter.
- I Love My Country. It is The Government I’m Afraid Of!
- I am not drunk, I am just chemically off-balanced
- Coffee, chocolate, men… some things are just better rich.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
- You are as useless as the ‘AY’ in ‘Okay’.
- After Monday and Tuesday, even calendar says W T F…
- A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net.
- I like to hangout with people that make me forget to look at my phone.
- Fun is like life insurance.The older you get..the more it cost’s.
- I’ll hit you so hard even GOOGLE wan’t able to find you.
- If at first, you don’t succeed… Keep flushing.
- Person you love is 72.8% water.
- I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients.
- Life was much easier when APPLE and BLACKBERRY were just fruits.
- When i was born..Devil said..”Oh Shit..!! Competition”.
- Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags.
- Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money.
- I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side Now.
- So i heard you’re a player, Well nice to meet you. I’m the coach.
- I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
- Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop.
- Train your mind to see good in everything.
- Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.
- Trust in God, But lock your car.
- When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.
- They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle.
- Warning…I know KARATE…….And few other oriental words.
- I work for money, For loyalty Hire a Dog.
- A good laugh and long sleep are two best cures for anything.
- We all are born to die don’t feel more special than me.
- Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
- I usually take a two hour nap, from one to four.
- It’s not too far, it just seems like it is.
- Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
- This world is turning me evil… I guess they want to experience the hell.
- I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.
- I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
