She Believed She Can, So She Did!
Are you scared of bombing the ENTRY TEST? Do you get nervous just at the thought of MCAT? Is this the only specter that haunts your way? Let’s be honest, right off the bat and admit that studying for the MCAT is not fun, especially when the stakes are so high. Obviously, if you want to get in, you’ll have to put in the time and effort to excel on the MCAT! But still UHS offers no assurance!
Okay let me share My Journey to Medicine, My Road to MCAT! A short story… From Failure to Success! From Rejection to Selection! From a Pre-Medical Student to a Medical student! A walk worth remembering! I experienced rejection; I experienced failure; but I didn’t let it go. And today when I look back, a year (being a Repeater) looks so lame in comparison with what I’ve been blessed with. Yes! Alhamdulillah I’m a Medical student, a RAWALIAN.
“Road to Medical life… A walk to remember”
“Doctors are not made, they are chosen”
MY JOURNEY!!
Okay!! I, like many of you, since I was 4 or 5, started dreaming of becoming a DOCTOR. May be it was due to the environment of our home which was so educational or my Ideal Doctors, “Aappi” and “Bhae”; the graduates of KEMU and RMC. Whenever I encountered the question, “Beta baray ho k kya ban’na hy appny?” there was always an impulsive reply, “Doctor”… It was a kind of reflex action to me. So that idea got deeply rooted in my mind since I was very young… When I didn’t even know the meaning of the word “Doctor” and it sowed the seeds in my mind. Then as I grew some older, these seeds started ripening and burgeoning rapidly, with its roots adamantly adhering to my every single thought, dreams, ideas and plans regarding my future.. !!
Being a PRE-MEDICAL Student!!
Life went really smoothly and school era came to an end… Everyone used to say that, “College life is fun time of one’s life” but being a PRE-MEDICAL student, you ought to have another thought coming. Life showed me that it’s not a bed of roses at all… The result of 1st year board left me in a dark valley of despair. In- spite of whole year’s night awakenings, securing highest grades in each college assessment and my best performance in each Exam; I made it up to 447 only! Yes, 447… the score that is enough to make you stand no-where!
It was for the very first time I experienced, “Expectations hurt more than anything” This time I started getting tensed. I never have been that much depressed as in this span of time. This was the time I started doubting my future. I started making many different dreadful scenarios and assumptions regarding my future. And it was probably my First Mistake. Well, when you start doubting your own future then you are inviting many evils of fears, despair, and hopelessness to build a castle in your nerves, mind and soul. And they mess up all the things together; your diligence, zeal, passion everything and keep you entangled in your own web of doubts.
Then even after 2nd year exams, I wasn’t finding myself in any race among the other Pre-Medical students, who scored brilliantly in their 1st year (my 2nd mistake), but still getting best prepared for the Entry Test for it can change all the game. Okay, 3 months passed; June, July, August and at the very end of August came out our result. I scored 936 and I thought it to be a respectable total … I don’t memorize any single day during these months, in which I slept without calculating the required aggregate. One thing I had learnt from the past, “Dream a little low so it won’t screw you up afterwards”… So this time, I just thought that I should score 950+ to be in a safe zone!!
MCAT 2013
The thing about MCAT is that you study until you get Mental Hemorrhoids. There are about 220 MCQ’s in the test but literally hundreds and hundreds of concepts you have read in your Pre-medical classes. Nothing quite strikes fear in the heart of Pre-medical student as the prospect of taking the MCAT. This fear is not completely unwarranted... The MCAT is the monster of a test … And in most cases it is the last hurdle along the long path to the medical college… For this reason, there is a common fear that all the hard work put during last two years can be all or none if you crash and burn on the test day!! A lifetime of work can come down to how well you perform on one day! This is an irrational fear. There is no reason to assume that if you have worked and studied hard and performed well in FSC that all; that‘ll leave you on test day. If u did reasonably well in FSC and prepared for the Test you should do well but what “If?” ‘What if ‘If’s’ will drive you crazy?? Well there is no remedy available!
Ok, then came the DOOMS DAY… Yes, the Entry Test Day 22nd of September, 2013… I was in the best of my spirits. Started with Biology! When I reached half of the MCQ’s, I felt like I’m attempting all of the questions and not leaving a single which is probably not a good thing. Negative Marking is there so I need to be a little more cautious... So, I started skipping the questions in which I was doubtful even a percent or less… And that pattern proceeded in Physics and Chemistry as well… So, it resulted in skipping of 20 questions altogether… I was left with a total of 1000 marks only...
I was extremely tensed during test hours that I marked the easiest of the questions incorrectly! Yes, I marked ‘C’ instead of ‘B’ and ‘B’ instead of ‘C’ on my response form in almost 10 of the questions (the biggest blunder one can ever make!) And when I came to know about this all, it was quite late! So, the questions that I deemed to be correct were incorrect in actual!
I also felt badly the need for word to word RATTA (I would have made) for Biology as even the simple things were mixing that time. There were hardly 3-4 questions incorrect in Physics and Chemistry’s Section. I performed well in English as well but Biology; most of the questions I skipped from this section and most of the incorrect ones also in the same section! Result came as No Shocking News! 879/1100 with an aggregate % of 83.3052%... And I was left with no other option than to repeat and waste a year because it was not possible for me to let go of my Dream I dwelled in, for the lifetime! So, it was a requisite of time to give Myself another chance!!
Year 2014!!! (Being a Repeater)
Medical + Stethoscope + White Overall = A Shattered Dream!
Well, I will never ever forgive you 2013! For many of my tears :’( … This was the time when I found myself in the middle of no-where… Friends getting prepared for the New Era of Life; Medical life! Thrill, fun, excitement … And *Le me with FSC books again in hand revising for the 47th time! Well, it’s really heartrending when you find yourself lagging behind the people that were there with you yesterday. They all took a leap and you still creeping like a snail :@. When you are a REPEATER, you are not sure about your new energy, but you know that you are in a risky situation. There is a chance that you may even succeed in a venture where others before you failed. Situations have an unfortunate tendency to be difficult for you. I told myself daily that your OPTIMISM ought not to be changed no matter what!! Just make sure that the battle you fight today is yours. There may be a great deal of tension in the air that might behoove you to stay detached from the war that’s apt to ensue. One explanation could be rattled ‘Confidence’. Why you doubt yourself right now?? You need to give yourself a long look in the MIRROR! Remind yourself that you can’t stop moving forward just because you haven’t made it last time!!
Well, I haven’t found books hateful, as during this span of time. Yes, I hated them… I used to look at them as if someone’s old love for which one has surrendered everything and that love has ruined it completely!! During the start of this year, for many a days, I didn’t find courage to face these books again… I never have hated STUDYING but I was just sick of these FSC BOOKS! What I wanted is some new start! Some new books! Some new ME! But everything was OLD; monatomic, but NO I was change!!… I had more the riches of tensions, worries, depressions, and fears ahead!
But wait!! I had two options from there onward… 1st was, I let that DEFEAT define ME; or the 2nd one, I let it STRENGHTHEN me… and I chose the 2nd one … Well, I won’t say that I was a kind of OPTIMISTIC being. There were many sleepless nights during this whole year… The persistent condition of my eyes these day; swelled up, burning red and pearls sparkling all the time (yes, the tears). I was of the view these days that I‘m the most UNLUCKY being ever born on this planet. Honestly to tell you, I lost the hope of a percent or even less that I, Yes I can get in to a Medical college and Government!! Uff, no wake up DEAR!!
But someone said to me, “Okay! If we suppose that you are UNLUCKY, as you say; so why you are still relying on your luck… Stop leaning on the luck for even a percent. Just raise your HARD WORK to 100% ... No space for the LUCK to matter. Some people write down their FUTURE with their own hands… So, let yourself be added among that queue of people, The DETERMINED ones though unlucky!!
Okay, now the 1st question was! Should I need to improve my FSC score! This thing as we all know that improvement of 10-15 marks can’t make a huge difference to your Aggregate. What matters most is how well you perform in your ENTRY TEST… Okay one thing to tell you, I was a Pre-MEDICAL student and I used to dislike BIOLOGY more than any other subject (even Pak. Studies). So, what I needed to do is to improve my Biology. (And today Bio is LOVE) So, I decided to appear in BIO-2 again!!
Some days, I got up and realized that I’m in the middle of NOWHERE… I have nothing to do but STUDYING and go to bed with the same thing planned for next many of the months. The only thing surrounding me these days was the prevalent Darkness!! I just looked for the light at the end of the tunnel, it’s there. And what I need to do is to surpass this tunnel successfully. I deactivated Whatsapp, Viber, Facebook everything…
I started with BIOLOGY first. I didn’t follow the UHS syllabus as I wasn’t in a position to take the risk for even a single MCQ in this section (Although I skipped some of the Topics from 1st year Bio that included the Botany stuff (plants related portion)i.e. I skipped most of the PLANTAE and also Ch-14’s starting part and the Kingdom Protoctista. From Bio-2 one can skip Ch-19 and 26 as well!) ... I used to read each line word to word again and again till these words got engraved to the bottom of my mind (with special emphasis on the blue blocks and diagram’s descriptions). For Biology, one needs to lick up the whole book word to word and bits by bits! I revised the Biology for 3 months and by the end of these months, Bio was on finger tips... I wasn’t oblivious of other subjects as well.
I started ENGLISH side by side. I estimated. Okay! If I revise 10 words of English vocab daily then I will revise the whole vocabulary in almost 872/ 10 = 87.2 days, Ok let it be 90 days, means time span of 3 months. So, at the very end of these 3 months I chewed up whole vocab thoroughly and also done with Bio completely… (For Vocabulary I consulted KIPS English book edition 2013, I think it’s best for vocabulary. No need to search for the meanings yourself; there are many good books for this purpose, consult them!)
Then I began with PHYSICS. I followed the UHS prescribed syllabus for Physics (that included all the topics both before and after the UHS Topics. And all the stuff I found in relation with UHS topics including books of 9th and 10th as well)… What you need to do for ‘Physics’ is, make a register and compile each and every thing you found in correspondence with a topic (Unit Vise) with special emphasis on Formulas, Units, Graphs and Definitions (you may take help from the books of 9th and 10th as well for the topics like Centre of Gravity, Ultra-Sonics and its uses, Audible frequency range, Defects of Vision i.e. Long/Short sightedness etc). For once this register has been made; you can revise whole Physics in just a couple of days (no restriction, you can take even more). No need to overwork yourself with Exercise’s lengthy Numerical, just keep revising the Chapter’s Examples and revise them too often that just by seeing the statement you remind both the Formula and the Answer (but not to rely on that answer as values may be changed this time). Okay, it almost took two weeks in compiling all the physics stuff in a register and revising it.
Last but not the least!! Yes, CHEMISTRY .Well you can’t think of skipping even a single topic from 1st year Chemistry because UHS is really shrewd in the sense that they picked up the TOPICS for which you need to go through the whole chapter thoroughly (May be u won’t find all the topics related as everyone has a different perspective and I’m just telling mine! But I think it’s good to be safe). Many of the topics from UHS syllabus may seem to be not in our FSC books but actually they are except a few! So it’s better to Google them instead of panicking yourself. Then CHEM -2, I did only the UHS topics for INORGANIC Chemistry (feel free to prepare only the specified topics and act as if no other topic other than them, is there in your book) But for ORGANIC Chemistry, you need to go through all the related topics as well (And that depends on you what you find in relation with a topic e.g. for Electrophiles and Nucleophiles one needs to go through all the reactions of the book related to Electrophiles/ Nucleophiles substitution and elimination whether they are individually included or not.
P.S that’s only what I think!). So I was done with all the subjects thoroughly in almost 5 months…
P.S that’s only what I think!). So I was done with all the subjects thoroughly in almost 5 months…
I also made it my routine to revise English vocab side by side with every subject as there was a chance of mixing up the MASSIVE VOCABULARY. I used to revise 50 words daily, after I had revised the vocab for the 1st time (10 words per day). Then when the whole vocab was revised for the 2nd time, I used to revise 100 words per day. (And these words to be revised 3-4 times per day as well, it was like a routine diet for me that’s intake is somewhat compulsory!) So when I was done with whole vocab for 3 times thoroughly then I used to revise whole vocab daily and marked the words that still needed to be revised. And then revised these mixing words for many a times And YES!! I was sure about these 872 words!!
For English Grammar, I have gone through all the Parts of Speech thoroughly and the whole grammar stuff (that I think every good grammar contain) from all the Grammar books I had a collection of! (Long list=D) (I think a single comprehensive reading (or twice) is just enough, if you are already good in English; which I suppose I was not) But the major contribution in this regard was of WREN & MARTIN. There is nothing like you need to memorize anything, just make sure you are good in Tenses, the usage of prepositions, relative pronoun; correct form of verb; sentence completion and most importantly you are good in locating the faulty part of a sentence (Mostly, when I read a sentence, my eyes sees only the faulty portion of it just on one glance, even though I didn’t make out the flaw sometimes but I was able to locate it and that’s what needed for the Test)
Let me tell you one other thing that might prove helpful for you… Each time, when I was going to revise any chapter, I used to mention the respective DATE on the very 1st page of that chapter, so it was a way of knowing; how many times the chapter have got revised! … And I gained so much confidence while during last revision of the books; I wasn’t finding any little space to mention the corresponding date!!
One other thing, try to memorize the things that mix up with the help of MNEMONICS. It’ll be really helpful. I used to make my own key words, little mnemonics (though silly =D) and by this I was able to memorize the gigantic tables as well. I used to search for Mnemonics on Wikipedia as well especially for Chemistry (like Electrochemical Series, Electronegativity values, and M.P/B.P trends etc)… For electrochemical series our Sir at KIPS told us a funny mnemonic and because of it whole series is just on my finger tips even today. “Lt. (Lithium) Pervaiz (Potassium) could (Calcium) still (Sodium) marry (Magnesium) a (Aluminum) zoya (Zinc) in (Iron) the (Tin) lovely (Lead) house (Hydrogen) causing (Copper) strangers (Silver) many (Mercury) gazes (Gold) =D”
Okay!! By the end of these 5 months, the HSSC-2 board exams were also about to finish… So, next question arise! ‘Should I need to prepare at home’ OR ‘join any academy??’ Last year, I joined ‘KIPS Academy’. The way KIPS taught us to tackle the dreadful monster, Yes! TIME MANAGEMENT during test hours is commendable. And most importantly, the way they revise the UHS Syllabus as if there was nothing really difficult in it!! Were there anything? So, the major reason to join any Academy this year was that I needed to evaluate myself. So, I joined ‘THE SCHOLARS ACADEMY’. It’s the Scholars Academy that is responsible for again building CONFIDENCE in me. They made me believe again that Yes You Can Do It! You deserve it! You’ll get it! They made me Dream again, think again, fly again, be passionate again! Our Sir once said to me, ‘’beta you are born to be a DOCTOR and we can see it while you doubt! Ups and Downs are the part of one’s life but it’s no reason to stop moving ahead’’
New Soul, New Spirits and New Determination!
When you are a Repeater, you are the most pessimists these days. What you need the most, is someone that stand by your side, just assuring you each day that ‘You Have To Do it because you CAN do it!! The one that believes in you so much that you start to believe in yourself too!
New confidence, New Chapters of Hopes and Prayers!
When there remained time span of 2 months for the Entry Test day, I revised the Books by the following pattern… Okay I have 6 books to revise and 2 months!
A schedule to revise 6 books for 5 times, in 63 days with ease! (Two months aprox)
- 1st revision:- One-fourth book daily (1/4) = 24 days
- 2nd revision:- One-third book daily (1/3) = 18 days
- 3rd revision:- Half book daily = 12 days
- 4th revision:- One book daily = 6 days
- 5th revision:- One subject daily = 3 days
ENTRY TEST 2014!!
Okay then came the ENTRY TEST DAY, 31st August 2014. I have never found myself so much calm and relaxed as during this test. It was probably the 1st exam of my life (except during childhood) in which I finally left my books at 9pm (for many a times it may take till 4am to summon the courage). This was the 1st time, I finally realized that it’s not the revision of the same books over and over again that can give you satisfaction; as the Prayers, the Dua’s, and the time spent with ALLAH Honestly to tell you, I have always prayed in haste so that I may find a little time more to revise the books once again but still unease, still anxiety, still nervousness, still un-satisfaction apart of the revision of books for many a times.
I had a strong Belief on Allah and Myself! that YES, this is the Test that is in between ME and MEDICAL Insha’Allah As I started with the test, it seemed me like there is some Devine help with me that helped me in not getting tensed or to panic myself. First I attempted the ENGLISH synonyms, I knew them all and I felt really boastful because these were the solid 50 marks I was sure about from the 872 vocabulary words I kept revising days and nights. Then began with BIOLOGY, this was the portion in which I couldn’t afford a single mistake as I have revised the Biology more than any other subject! (Still I lost some of the marks here) I was done with BIO till 9:40am. Then began with CHEMISTRY, completed it till 10:20am. I was done with the two major portions of the test and left with 44 questions of PHYSICS and 20 remaining from ENGLISH and 70 minutes. I completed PHYSICS till 11:00am and ENGLISH in next 10 minutes and I was left with 20 minutes even then! So, I just looked at my response form as if how many left un-attempted, there were 3 of them. As I was strongly advised by my Teachers and siblings, not to skip even a single MCQ this time, so I just made educated guesses (if u can’t make a choice then just make an educated guess). Then I spent the remaining time praying to ALLAH!
‘‘Allah Almighty, the most merciful! I don’t know what’s best for me but YOU know the best! I just find it difficult at my side to even imagine myself not as a DOCTOR. I find it really hard to smash the Castle I dwelled in with my own hands. But Insha’Allah I’ll be contended with Your Decision for Me because it’ll be the best IA ’’ And yes, I was finally satisfied with my performance!
Okay, one thing I didn’t tell about yet!! Yes, My TARGET this year. Actually, I happened to go through a document quite often this year, ‘ROAD TO MCAT 2012’. It was a Ray of Hope for me! So I used to assume myself in every single line, each word, and every single thought of it. So I also used to estimate… My EXPECTATION last year; emm 950... REALITY; 879… Means difference of 71 marks… So if this year let my Target be 1100 and if difference would remain the same i.e. 71 then I need to score 1100-71= 1029. What? ‘1-0-2-9’ Oh My…. So consciously or unconsciously I started praying for a score of 1029 in Entry Test. Neither a single less; nor more… just 1029! So my target was to score 1100 and Expectation; 1029! (71 less…=D)
Well! Result came within a week and I scored 986 ALHAMDULILAH with an aggregate percentage of 88.5325%. So the difference between my expected score and the Reality was 43 in fact .
What you need to do!!
There is no need to feel regret or shame about the things that have happened in the past. Turn negative experiences into lessons!! You have plenty of free energy. Now is a good time to make plans and to get involved in your commitments. Your vitality doesn’t have any boundaries. You’ll be amazed at how much you can handle when there’s an end in sight. Your whole attitude lightens, so take the bull by the horns and create your own incentives. If you never go after what you want, you’ll never have it!!
Just remind yourself that He is watching! Your efforts, your deeds, your patience!! Remind yourself of how good it would feel to have it all one day. Don’t let go. Don’t give up!!
“Some childhood dreams are so intense that they penetrate deep down; in your nerves, mind and soul! And build a Castle with solid concrete there… Dreams are the wishes that heart makes! No matter how hard you try, you can’t get rid of them! So you decide either to gain courage to demolish it with your own hands or proving yourself capable of dwelling in that castle” (My daily diary)
I began to realize, how important it was to be Enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it with full speed ahead! Embrace it with both arms, love it and above all; become PASSIONATE about it!
Turn to the sun, and the shadow will fall behind you!!
Your engine is oiled up and ready to go. Put yourself in high gear and don’t let anything stand in your way. Never again are you going to walk out of an exam saying, ‘’I studied forever and really felt that I knew the material but this bad grade is not a reflection of my Efforts and my Knowledge”
Today you may satisfy yourself with options like D-pharmacy, DPT, DVM or BS in any related field but one thing to tell you, there can be literally no SUBSTITUTE for MBBS/ BDS and if you have got another chance as a Repeater, Don’t Waste It! Very few people are lucky to have a second chance. So, consider yourself LUCKY and if you are really passionate, the STETHOSCOPE will be yours as a DOCTOR in near future Insha’Allah. Allow your PASSION to become your PURPOSE and it’ll one day become your PROFESSION!! IA
Few lines from my Diary, 2013!
“Dear STETHOSCOPE! Don’t know whether you are made for me or not… But I’ll make you MINE one day with the will of ALLAH IA, for you have been in every single line and every thought of my Existence and I won’t give up on you whether the sky gets rough!”
‘This road is thorny still I smell roses’
One Poem I have composed last year and I would like to share it with you fellows!!
May be it can become a source for Someone, Somewhere; to keep going, keep struggling, and reaching to his/her PASSION and DESTINY one day!! May be yours, Yes you reading!
When Darkness seems the only Way,
Find your way in that way,
With flame of Diligence lightning your way!!
When Despondency seems the only refuge,
Don’t let yourself engulf in that deluge!!
Reside instead in the Castle of your Dreams,
Be a bird of HOPE, instead of DESPAIR!!
Life is GOOD if it’s still UNFAIR,
Believe you can, and you are halfway there!!
BEST OF LUCK!
COMPOSED BY: MEHREEN NOOR
